Combination lock on a restroom at the Whole Foods on Eye St. NW.
credit: Ian Erasmus

I found it rather odd when Whole Foods suddenly wanted to install a combination lock on its bathrooms. It seemed clear out of the blue and upset me a bit. My thought was “oh great, another inconvenience for getting to the bathroom.” I wondered why though? There had been no incident. It was plain and simply to send a message to those only wanting bathroom service: you’re not welcome. I kind of always thought Whole Foods was above that type of singling out behavior simply by their reputation of being big charity contributors that help those less fortunate than say, their employees.

Well, it played out just as I envisioned it would: not pretty! Frankly, they should have saw it coming too. The lock ended up malfunctioning. Could’ve been due to all of the combination switching. I mean they just really kept people guessing!

Perhaps it was for their amusement, because now I see a newly placed “Whole Foods food only” sign on the microwave. What makes a company want to suddenly up and add locks like it’s all the latest rage, trend, and fad!? Whole Foods is supposed to be setting the standard for the community as a leader in their field, not following the latest craze. I’ll keep hope alive for them though and stay on my toes as far as being a bathroom guest. Guesswork goes!

Overnight

One of the most challenging aspects of being homeless is having to use the toilet overnight! How does one manage and cope with such a dilemma?! Well, I can’t speak for others, but I’ve managed to be pretty creative and accident free: from holding still all night to seeking out the proper facilities for relief.

Recently I noticed a sign posted at one of my spots, stating that a new security guard would be assigned and “security” restored — so I haven’t bothered to return there. Instead, I have had to rely on backup spots. I want to keep my own personal dwelling a secret, but as for standard back-ups, you have 24-hour McDonald’s with the lobby open and other 24-hour dining spots such as IHOP or Steak & Eggs (although it’s a pretty tight fit in there — they are not known for their available size, space, or room). I’ve even seen folks get managers’ permission to use 7 Eleven’s rest rooms. Hotels are another possibility too. Please plan ahead in order to stay safe and accident free! Everyone is susceptible.

Rise and Shine!

It’s 5 a.m. and Metro has just opened their gates, thus the day has begun. Only, you need relief quick! Panera doesn’t open until 6! Wait, but Starbucks opens at 5:30! Oops — forgot we got banned for 5 years from both Panera and Starbucks. So, no bueno on those fronts. You got Chick-fil-A left, who opens at 6:30. But can you hold it that long though?! … Whatchu gonna do dawg?! No doo-doo!

Ok Sunshine, it’s Sunday morning so you sleep in a little later until 6 a.m., with the same problems except it’s Sunday — so they’ll be no Chick-fil-A to the rescue at 6:30 a.m. and you’re still barred from Starbucks and Panera. But wait, ‘lo and behold, you thank GOD for the brand new Dunkin’ Donuts that does breakfast, so they open at 6! Right on time! #Blessed!~

Portable

Awoke to see a Jiffy John in the middle of the street! I couldn’t figure it out, except maybe perhaps it was for us homeless guys. So I took it for granted, missing the photo opportunity and thinking it would actually still be there later. This was just the other morning now, mind you. Yeah, that would’ve been some solution — barring the inevitable collision bound to happen due to the location, huh?!